zaterdag 20 oktober 2007
To all the fans
I'm letting my work with the blog drag, I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW! People i'm litterally DROWNING in work. If I'd write a "to-do-list" on this moment, I'm positive I'd beat the quantities J.K. Rowling has managed to nag about that optically retarded witch aka Harry Potter (la sagesse en route: potter is a dysfemism in Dutch for gay). So once i'm settled in my new condo, and Davy's moved to london , we're gonna fuck your minds with faggalicious new treats!!
We've discovered a gorgeous new designer we're gonna do a post about, the label's called Hair & Jerome (t'adores?) Further more i'm planning to go deeper into the camwhoring. I've had it with traditional blogging, a fresh wind needs to ride our wings.. I took 4 days off this week to spend exclusively in my new appartment, and normally i'm gonna move this weekend. So next week i'll have internet and we can start intensifying our cyber prostitution...
Dahlin's for now i bid you farewell. xxx
Davy LOVES Marangoni
I know it has been awfully quiet about me lately but it has its reasons...
I’m sure y’all remember our Amsterdam post about Jurgen and me going to Amsterdam to visit a school I was interested in to study...well what you don't know is that it all turned out to be a big scam...the Dutch education system is so low class! You guys really don't have a clue... + living in Amsterdam is absurd, there are waiting lists of 8 FUCKING years for little rooms in crappy buildings –NOT EVEN DOWNTOWN- !
I applied instantly for the course Fashion&Styling but they told me the courses where already full so they put me on a waiting list...I decided to forget about Marangoni, apply for jobs in retail, earn some extra money for a year and then to retry an application at Marangoni in 2008...
In september I found a job at the new Burberry store in Antwerp as the head salesman for Prorsum Men but almost the day I wanted to sign my contract, Marangoni called me and told me the waiting list was gone! My heart really stopped beating for 5 seconds.
So anyway...I needed to arrange my moving to London in 3 crazy weeks...I went to London for 4 days, hired a real estate agent to find me a flat, arranged an appointment with the school, figured out the tube, checked out the areas, etc, etc...
Last week i bought all of my furniture, this week my electronical shit like Plasma, stereo, laptop, second cell phone, the whole mishmash! And I'm going to pack.
It's crazy how much a low class girl as me needs everyday!!! hahahahah!
I'm moving on Friday the 5th of October and I still have LOADS of work...I need to get my internet fixed at my flat, I need to get an Oyster card, I need an English telephone line, I need a bank account,...
- "jeezes...can someone get me a latté? PRONTO! GODDAMNED!!" -
Aannyywaaay....I'm looking forward to it, new people, a new city, a new school, a new life...It's gonna be hard though, missing everybody over here in Belgium especially my Bitch: *Jurgen*
Damn...I'm gonna put him in a jar with chemical water so I can take him with me hahahahaha!He would look nice on one of my counter tables at the Londonesque condo...
I'll show you guys soon what I made of my lil' flat, it's gonna be so posh!
Chris Crocker is BRILLIANT
J'ADORE
I even heard he's getting a reality show...God bless America!
25th of August: a milestone!
After having gone out for dinner with a collegue of mine and a very dear friend, Davy and me were considering going out at night. We were thinking about the local gay-club, right around my corner, but we didn't really feel like it ... You know those nights, it itches but the things you're used to do aren't satisfactory any longer.. Wel this was one of them. So first we went to that local "festival des atroces": FUGLY FUGLY F-U-G-L-Y P*E*O*P*L*E !!!!!
We drank two beers and bought the DJ a water since he helped us with the name of a song we adored, and left the building. We felt like two 24ct diamonds in a plastic bag filled with urine.
At home i was doubting if i'd put my lenses out, when suddenly Davy gave a subtle hint he'd brought his digital camera and his drag-heels that had arrived earlier that week. Next thing we knew we were strolling the pavement taking pics at an incredible rate, giggling, screaming, hiding, nearly pooping our panties at times hahahaha!
Victoria Beckham sneaking out of the abortion clinic, but unwantedly discovered by circulating papparazzi.
6-inch heels can even bring the most stable amongst us bitches in an unstable position. She nearly smacked her head into the window. Would have been loads of fun though...
HARRASSED
CHASED
Garden of Crack
My god what fun we bitches had! First of all: the colours on these pics are just RA-VI-SHING! For the first time in aaaaages temperatures were somewhat summerish, the sky was blue and we were alone at Davy's place. NEED I SAY MORE? A flourishing garden, a cellar packed with cooled booze and fresh fruit, a Cybershot and a closet stacked with high heels and handbags! We started the Marquis de Vauzelle à Epernay at 2 P.M. , by 4 we were finishing our third bottle and pictures were taken as if there was no tomorrow!
Wasted, yet conscious of the events... Browsing through Harper's Bazaar on a sunny afternoon.
I felt embarassed in his place! His parents are on vacation yet he manages to call them for every li'l retard-question like how to start the fountain, how to connect an iPod to the stereo that controls the outdoor speakers in the gazebo, if he needed to keep count of what bottles we drank to work on the inventory afterwards... WHAT ON EARTH! My god Davy are you sure you're living here for the past 1.8 decade????
After these little organisatorial delays were resolved we got our materialistic claws on the bag-collection once again. I chose a Takashi Murakami by LV to match my newest Dsquared trunks. I know it's last season with a capital L but hey, d'you know they still sell the multicolores? I saw it in the window this week! I felt so retarded...
Though TM is fun and shit, i decided to go Birkin to trigger the divine effects they're so known for. The shimmering of the brassware is just legend.
What light is light if Birkins will not be seen? (William Shakespeare)
My god, we left our Hiltondays behind more than a year ago, yet it's spirit wanders deep within the pools of our souls, only emerging from it to gasp for air when the scent of alcohol enters its vains...
As if he just smacked down a papparrazzi with his bag at Nikki Beach, looking down on him with attitude and adrenaline...
J'ADOOOOORREEEEEEE!!!!!
I'm praying for the day a hot manload splashes in my face like that...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA >^F I L T H ^< !
2 weeks online
2 weeks online and we are already international people!
I SO ADORE THIS!!!
Desired future conquests:
- Madagascar
- Kenya
- Papua New Guinea
- India
- Chile
- Cuba
- Greenland
=> Tell those natives to visit our website godd*mmed!!!
Paris
The first metro we took we bumped into Diane Pernet!
One week before she visited the graduates-show of the Antwerp academy. I saw her on the news sitting next to Walter Van Beirendonck. Davy and me were sitting on the bench when suddenly in my eye-corner i saw this enormous pile of hair moving towards the back of the train. I was hyperventilating for 5 seconds, then calmed down and managed to spit out these holy words: "Diane Pernet is on this train!" Davy's head turned at the speed of light, his eyes spreading for approximately 5 inches.. We were like 8-year olds spotting Goofy at Disneyworld.
Just kidding...Anyways, i started a small conversation: "Oh my god, you're Diane Pernet aren't you? (spotlight on her white-powdered face)" The woman willingly answered our cliché fan-like questions, but maintained a healthy distance. I was totally going bezerk! I realised it at the time but i was so excited i just couldn't restrain my enthusiasme! Anyways she got off at Louvre-Rivoli and we asked her for a pic. Le resultat au-dessus...
After this Jet-Set rencontre, our two-day conquest of couture just couldn't go wrong. Davy had made a map with 25 shops with possible hidden treasures we had to visit.
We got hold of a small loot at Dior: a shirt, a wallet (Davy) and sandals (me). Later on i found this legend Dior Homme scarf at l'Eclaireur.
Picture taken at the Palais Royal. We didn't wanna wander the streets looking like L.A. pampered wives while still having to take public transportation... So we went for an understated, more accessible look...
One that was sure to remain unnoticed by a possible mob of fag-haters... Don't worry Davy would stuff the scarf in the bag and i would take off my balenciaga every time more than 3 Africans were about to cross us on the sidewalk. Sightseeing the Hopital des Invalides last notice didn't really appeal to us...
Davy: skinny's Drykorn Jurgen: skinny's Surface 2 Air
bag: Virr. D. Menorca bag: Balenciaga
polo: April 77 polo: Peter Jensen for Fred Perry
belt: J. Lindeberg belt: 5-dollar self-made
At Dior Homme later that day. It's a seperate store, not on the Avenue Montaigne. It's independant from the flagship. After this picture we began socialising with security cause appearantly it's not allowed to take pictures due to industrial espionage.. It's surprising how intrigued those agents get by two fags entering like they own the place, speaking a strange foreign language and commanding the staff as their own. There's a gay deep in every one of them i'm telling you!
Our conquest spread out on the bed of our hotel... I was browsing through the Dior Haute Couture catalog we got at Avenue Montaigne, when all of the sudden it happened again.
COUTURE MOMENT
The endless stream of luxury we had absorbed throughout the day found it's expression in a self-made Dior replica. The new collection had not yet been shown at the time we took our pictures, so who are they to come up and talk about industrial espionage?
An outtake on how to use hotel-couvertures on an original way.Get packed Martha Stewart, you're out!
So far the child that originated from our brains...
It's the latest hype in Paris to do silly things with the scaffolds while a building is being renovated. This one popped out that's for sure. The illusion was so perfect you got nauseous looking at it.
The view from our room, the Arc de Triomphe was at the next crossing. It makes you wanna pack your bags and move your ass over there. Turned out some famous French writer had described the view from the terrace during his stay on the fifth floor of the hotel in one of his books.
The wonderfull Plaza Athénée straight across the Dior boutique at Avenue Montaigne.
The LVMH headquarters. The poles you see through the window were huge screens constantly changing images, a luxury brainwash on full display.
After this we got back to the station. I got a little panic attack when three Middle Eastern-looking men in military outfit, complete with 3-foot rifles, passed our little table while we were enjoying our last 7.5 euro Parisian coke, surrounded by boutique bags. I thought Al Quaeda was going to blow up the complex. Typically me. They used to say my fear of spiders was my way of expressing my sexual frustrations. I guess since my arachnophobia somewhat vanished lately, this must be my new "sexual-frustration-scapegoat": imagining impossible Die Hard With A Vengeance-scenario's in everyday life...
Prochain rendez-vous Parisien: the sales coming up in January 2008
Salut les mecs!
Pictionary Primetime
What if you're eighteen and twenty years old, have strass running through your
veins, find yourself bored at midnight in a house packed with designer bags,
horny as hell but lacking hung boyfriends to feast upon?
PUT ON SOME SLINGBACKS, HANG ON A BIRKIN, GRAB THOSE SUNNIES AND BRUISE THOSE ANKLES! GET MOVIN' BITCH!
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT IT'S THE SUPERSTAR
EVERYBODY WANNA COME UP WHEN I'M AT THE BAR
ALL THEM PEOPLE WANNA TRY IT'S LIKE GIMME SOME MORE
TRY A LITTLE HARDER HONEY IM LIKE GET IN MY CAR
SKIP THE BRA, CHILL AT THE SPAS
FEMININE BOSS DON'T CARE WHAT IT COST
GET LOST WE GETTING LOTS A ROCKS
WHILE BITCHES BOTOX I BLOW COCKS
"Mireille? What's wrong hun? Uhuh.... How do you MEAN stock is falling? NOW LISTEN YOU TRAMP, I DIDNT HIRE YOU TO BUG ME EVERY BLOODY HOUR OF THE DAY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DIRTBAG? WHAT PART OF "RUN THE PLACE" YOU DONT UNDERSTAND? HUH? HUH? DO YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR HUBBIE GET KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT, UR KIDS ON THE BACKSEAT!?! HUH !?!? DO YOU ?!? WELL IF YOU DONT GET THOSE FIGURES UP IM AFRAID YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE...HOLD ON..." Excuse me Davy, business call, i'm gonna take this outside... Brb..
WHAT ON EARTH? SO IF I GET THIS STRAIGHT YOU HAVE AIDS AND WE BREATHE THE SAME AIR OR SUMMIN'? LIKE SURE !!!
YOU KNOW I GOTTA DO WHATEVER IT TAKES
AND ALL THEM OTHER CHICKS IT'S LIKE THAT'S THE BREAKS
AND ALL THEM OTHER CHICKS WANNA TAKE MY PLACE
AND ALL THEM OTHER CHICKS BETTER GET OUTTA MY FACE
THE LOOK, THE LIPS, THE TITS, THE TASTE, THE HAIR, THE EYES, THE SKIN, THE WAIST
WATCH US WORK IT WE'RE P+E+R+F+E+C+T
Lolo Ferrari and Jean-Paul Gaultier sitting in a tree...
OK I REALLY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF MY GORGEOUS BUM !

Do you guys know, a few years back JEAN-PAUL GAULTIER hosted a TV show called Eurotrash in the UK with LOLO FERRARI as a regular guest!! (ok while i checked the official Eurotrash site i noticed even EDDY WALLY was a regular guest in that show! jeezes, he's like the-most-fucking-famous-wannabe-gay-porcelain-looking-singer in Belgium EVER!)
Annnnyywaaayyy...i discovered all this shit yesterday in a documentary I saw with Jurgen about Lolo Ferrari (HER HUSBAND LOOKS LIKE A LESBIAN MAIL'MAN'(?how is a female mailman called anyway? a postwoman? mailwoman?)...)
=> like WHA'EVA!
....It was really freaky, first explosive boobs everywhere, then lesbian postbitches and then all of a sudden Jean-Paul Gaultier popping out of nothing!It seems like everybody has a dark past...anyway, enjoy our little Pictionary Primetime of Lolo, Jean-paul and Eddy!

Lolo at the filmfestival in Cannes anno 1996...

Dear God, please tell me that Chanel belt is fake...
She so looks like Pamela Anderson on this pic...her husband walks behind her, LOOK HOW FREAKY (S)HE IS!
Eddy Wally, no comment, lol

I really, really, REALLY don't get this...what's next to discover? John Galliano starring Big Brother?!

!OMFG!
XoXoXoX
Davy
P.S. I wonder what JPG was thinking the moment that last pic was taken..."Should i use lace or silk for the next Prêt-à-Porter collection?"
Gaëll & Vivvi 20/07/2007
HERE WE GO AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jurgen
dress: Moschino
glasses: Dolce & Gabbana
Davy
dress: Christian Dior
blouse: Dior Homme
bag: Hermès
glasses: Prada
Vogue presents: BUSINESS IN COUTURE
The New York Times: ".... shortly after intern sources had spread the news about the crash at Nasdaq, papparazzi stumbled upon financial gurus Gaëll and Vivvi while exiting their 90210 condo where they interrupted their long-planned gathering with relatives. Heading for L.A.X. in a stressed-out condition, their reaction towards the crowd outside was fierce..."
".... acquaintances to the Jet-Setters said they've never seen Vivvi so angry while dealing with the photographers. Shouting the F-word and making obscene gestures, she defied the press to [quote] 'come and take a piece of me if that's what you filthy derelicts want...' "
".... After a 45-minute chase down to the L.A.X. valet, Gaëll jumped out of the vehicle and headed for gate 49. Vivvi appearantly managed to have left the vehicle whilst stopping at a parking lot on the highway a few miles earlier..."
"... untill the car came to an abrupt stop opposite of the employee entrance on the side of the building, where she popped out..."
" ... and rushed inside hiding for the blinding rain of flashes... On the processed images we were later on able to see... "
"... that Vivvi was still seated when Gaëll went for the entrance.
A lawsuit has been filed by three photographers, prosecuting the Bergerat Monterey-family for the obscene language and aggressive hand gestures made by the youngest on public grounds, claiming there were minors within hearing-distance that got offended by her behaviour... "
ADORE US ------> MAJOR !!!!!!
Jurgen & Davy LOVE Chris Crocker
The latest sensation on our Faggotry Favorites! This guy is so twisted! A friend of mine showed this to me, saying it was funny. I thought it was funny for like one tenth of a second, but then this bloke just scared the pounded shit out of my ass. I'm telling you he's a genius, (which is seperated by a transparent crêpe curtain from the crazed crackwhore department...) The passion and honesty with which he performs are outrageous! Watch and love...
xxxx JurGeN
Jurgen

I STILL THINK THIS IS ONE AWESOME PIC !

Six drinks later... Glasses i gathered from the other fags seated around the table. God i've come such a long long long way... It's one year of celebrity allure after another. "There are few things i take lightly, every mistake i make has consequences..." [quote: Nicole Richie]
Thank god i got out of that Paris Hilton fase and moved on to exceedingly posh and decadent, mixed with a healthy dose of >T<>R<>A<>S<>H<
Big bisous xxxxx JuRgEn ;-)
Statue
I know what y'all thinking: "if anyone, you should know.. screwing those old fags all the time..."
I KNOHOOOWWW.... But i have a firm belief that the ageing of a cock starts after they've passed the big 5-OH! My experience only goes as far as 45...
One of Davy's closest friends, Thijs, is a student at the Antwerp Academy of Arts. There was this information day for future students at this school and Davy put himself up as a volunteer to guide people around the buildings. It was there he met one of Thijs's teachers in sculpture. She was fascinated by his gorgeous visage and immediately arranged to have him as their next model in class.
Next thing he knew Davy found himself sitting on an improvised throne, surrounded by ten alternative sculpture-pupils, trying to indulge themselves in the balanced anatomy of Davy's androgyne face.
Above: Thijs pulling off an incredibly sweet smile next to the first fase of the statue made in clay . The other pupils' statues were either destroyed by the pupils themselves, after having had a mental meltdown not being able to grasp its contours... or just didn't succeed in meeting Davy's expectations.
Second fase: a cast...
If you'd take this piece of rock out of the school gates you'd get arrested on suspicion of museum-theft... After the summer holiday Thijs is gonna make a bronze version of it, which will be the final fase of the proces. Hopefully it will be radiating its splendour on Davy's foreign metropolitan appartment next year, whatever fashion city he'll go to...
La vie en bronze...
Grunge meets Trailertrash
My sis, complete with drykorn jeans, vintage shirt, prada specs and grunge sneakers, doing a yard sale at a local fair. It's so The Simple Life! Pics like this are rare and should will treasured in a global faggot archive.
I do admire his persistance. Dahlins you just don't have a clue what kind of people turn up on such an event.We're talking 48-60 year olds, on early retirement or just gruwesomely poor, shuffling through the grass on clarks or mephisto's, dragging along what junk they might have mistaken for hidden treasures. Yes you hear me coming: braindamage by four o'clock is imminent!
Li'l Miss Davy (you got it?) had 250 euro in her cash register that evening.. Plus he got this gorgeous tan by sitting in the sun all day without extra charge. Ravishing right?
JuRgEn
Skinny Ballet
I bought this awesome Stephan Schneider jacket in a vintage store, like in this awesome colour. It's not jeans,it's not tweed, it's not blue, it's not grey, it's so BEYOND! I do have to change the closure i'd like it chiquer... Following is me doing the Swan Lake in skinny jeans in my kitchen.. STRETCHEM' GIIIIRRRLLLLLLL!
Graduation! summer 2007
After 6 mindblowing blog entries it's *MY* fucking turn to make a statement overhere goddamned!
After 6 horrible years at high school, coping with teachers, people and retards who were either big, brown or (and) poor I FINALLY graduated last month!!!
I know you girls are all happy and shit but let get things staight: you can only FedEx me gifts after you've send me an email nnnnnnkey?
(This is me at holding the official papers...)
WHA'EVA right, lets get down to business: the suit is costume national, the tie helmut lang with a silver vintage pin and the shirt is Van Laack.
Graduation Ceremony Galore...
(Look at that lesbian behind me! THE DRAMA, she is breathing on my couture)
So this is like the building I NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER will enter in my entire life AGAIN!
"ciciciiciciciciccccciiiccccciiicciaaaaciao ciao College of Saint Gummarus ciao je t'embrasse", to say it in Jurgen's lingua franca
GOD I'm so happy about this, you guys really don't have a clue.
Love ya'll !!!
xXx Davy xXx
Kate Moss Moments
"Harrassed by a mob of papparazzi and feeling offended in her privacy, she started swearing at the photographers and threatened to hurt their families if they didn't let her pass. "
"Chased by a mob of papparazzi again only seconds later, she fiercely shouted the f-word while heading to the home of a close friend..."
"On the last day of her visit to Antwerp, she was spotted the next morning exiting the sunday-closed Van Noten flagship on the Rue Nationale with a Hermès box. Clearly calmed down, she ignored the unwanted attention. Rumour has it the box contained a pair of beige calfleather sandals he had asked Dries to pick up as a gift for her mom, the established Madame."
THEY'VE ALWAYS TOLD ME I SHOULD BECOME A WRITER !!!!!!
Bisous XxX
JuRgEn
woensdag 15 augustus 2007
Senegal
Impression: La tarte du séjour :)
The helicopter, this freaking piece up shit interrupted peace and quiet four times a day as guests were being flown in.
Quite aggressive little asses these beasts. They attacked us once, but withdrew themselves from battle when the smell of old fur and stuffed animals from our personal collection was blown into their sensitive noses.
By the time we were back in Belgium Davy's bag was starting to smell like an animal graveyard. Shells (with or without animals in it), coral, sand, stones, the only thing left on the beach were dead jellyfish and seaweed... The average marinologist would have argued this was a dead sea, judging by what was left on the beach!

Davy & Jurgen love BryanBoy
Amsterdam Glam'
Respecting tradition we first checked out Gucci, in Amsterdam the equivalent of an average Asian prostitute's crib. Book your flights now and get on front-row to see them logogaloring their lives! I'm dead serious, if the GG isn't mentioned at least a million times, they're not even considering buying it.
Can anyone be this posh at 10.30 AM without having had booze or dope? Behold the queen-bee...
If it wasn't for the water, Amsterdam would be just like any other depressing ghetto in Holland. The reflecting sunlight on Dior glasses gives that fairyesque touch to it...
This must be the ugliest designhouse-headquarter DU MONDE! What corrupt politician gave these pale pedophiles (PP's) their building-permit?
xXx
Birthday gal'
Next year we want our mail bulging with fanmail wishing him a gaylicious anniversary!
18 years ago god's excuse for the gay-mistake came into this world. For this special occasion Davy decided (after my wise advice) to throw a modest party for his closest friends. It will rest in my memory as one of the best parties i ever experienced.
SO WASTED !!!!!!
Best picture taken that night. The light-technique was a discovery we made on the spot.
Motel, a club in the south area of Antwerp, where Davy had booked a private little area on the V.I.P.-floor and some bottles of champagne. When everyone had arrived we set sail for a gay club. Nicolas on the photo, clearly starting to feel champagne running through his veins.
Thijs, a very close friend of Davy.
Aurelie was my one-night fag-hag.. DONT YOU JUST LOVE THIS GIRL!!!! Hell if i were straight... I just wanna rip off her hair ITS GORGEOUS !!!! Would y'all believe me if i swear she never had surgery? Her skin just turned out to be nature's next best thing (aside from anal sex).
I'd rip her hair out if it was legal. It's gorgeous. I want it, I need it...
I feel happy just thinking about this night. J'adorais...
Baci baci XxX
The infamous gay queen-bees vous souhaitent la bienvenue!
Jurgen and Davy are sisters in crime in wardrobe treasurehunting and designer shopping sprees. In a desperate attempt to style the nation they're unrelentlessly devoted to keeping up with the A-listers as well as the underground fashion scene, while respecting their tight budget.
This blog will be YOUR front row ticket to watching the life of these two crackwhores. Watch them get waisted in deluxe hotels near the equator, scavenge for a supersale at a second hand designer store, keep track of their latest love/sex-conquests, and see them bounce back after a blow in the face by a bitch called life.
Let's get this thing MOVIN' !!!!


